"..not the same thing"

So.. here I am.. unemployed. Just sound the of that makes me shiver. One week today I found myself saying goodbye to my closest friends at work. My Cox family is a large family, but part of my leaving,  meant not revealing that I was leaving. This would be announced in a email sent by the GM the next day..

Going home that night, I had a lot of mixed emotions. Deep sadness for the loss of a job and friends that I may never see again, but a small spark of hope and excitement for the future.. quickly replaced with a sense of loss and “holy shit.. what now’isms”

Friday came and went, I saw the email that the GM that he sent 0ut to the staff explaining that I was not going to be with the Cox family anymore, but my accomplishments were greatly appreciated and that he wished me well. Short, to the point and well.. short. Wow.. this is what my four years have been summarized into? It felt like I was reading my own obituary.. weird feeling. The funny thing is, I didn’t feel sad.. maybe just a little closure to move on and start the process of finding the next adventure, as we like to put it. I was also contacted by the national trades to confirm the news of my “exit” from Cox Houston.. “Dain has left the building..” My 15 year old reminded me that morning, that she has really never, except for vacations, seen me at the breakfast table. It’s true.. in the 20+ years of doing mornings, I rarely got to see this side of life… hmmm. Some how, I don’t think she was saying it in a positive way. More of a snarl, which is usually how she speaks to us.. so it’s hard to read anything into her little 15 year old hormone-generated-feedback..

The weekend seemed like a normal weekend (except for the cleaning out my office part). Cleaning the house, running errands, yelling at the kids.. normal stuff. Oh.. and I actually slept in to 5:45 am.. yup, wide awake at 5:45.. dammit!

Monday rolls around and the reality starts to sink in, now we have to decide if we’re going to sell the house, down size and move into an apartment back in Utah to save money.  What a reality.. how come no body is calling to offer me a job?!? Don’t they know who I used to be!! I see the announcement of my departure in the trades and again feel a darkness.. this alone feeling really sucks!

So I do what I have been doing for the last couple of weeks.. I go for a 5 mile run to clear my head. I get a few email inquiries about how I’m doing, and scores of people offering “if there’s anything I can do..” gestures, I know they mean well.. but being the smartass that I am, I’ll always follow it with, “how about you pay for us to move back to Utah” or “can you come over and take my trash out on Tuesdays and Fridays?” That always gets a snarky laugh.

Most mornings I start my day with a run, check emails, check Facebook, job postings in the trades… and then realize it’s only 8 am. This week we all suffered with allergies.. especially the 15 year old.. or should I say, she made us suffer. Non-stop bitching about this or that.. more hormones I guess. She stayed home from school and the fix-it guy that our real estate agent suggested came over to start to get the house in prime shape to be sold. By now I’m having an out of body experience or the Benadryl has REALLY just kicked in.

Oh I did get some calls from 2 beautiful small town markets that heard of my situation. Needless to say, the money was real low… although, we’re making progress.. one week out of a job and 2 stations are interested. Now all I have to do is sell everything I own.. including the kids, and live out of my car.

So here I am, a week has passed since my “exit” from the Cox radio family.  Ski season is coming and the idea of living off of severance and savings doesn’t look so bad.. I can teach skiing, right? Been doing it for over 12 years now.. Brighton, my home away from home.. and the cheapest therapy a mountain and two skis can give.. awwwwww..

This week alone, I have submitted 15+ applications for employment, applied for unemployment, COBRA and the work force services division in Texas. Feels a little like fishing.. throw out the bait, and see what kind of nibbles you get. Still feeling positive though. Last night we went to see an old friend from SLC who just wrote a book and was in town promoting it, Paul Cardall. Great guy, great musician and a truly incredible story about living with a failing heart and getting a new heart. Very inspiring..

This made me realize how lucky I am to be healthy, relatively happy and a pretty good smart-ass..