This morning I woke up to another… uh.. Monday, right?! This not working thing messes with your internal calendar. Weekends feel like weekdays and visa versa. Anyway, I was hit with a bunch of emails, texts and pix from Utah… SNOW over night in the mountains. The first snow in the valley too. It didn’t stick long but.. hey, it’s snow. I have always LOVED season changes.. Oh by the way, I’m still in Sugar Land Texas.. it’s going to be 80+ and muggy today. My mom was in town over the weekend for Christians mission farewell meeting and get together. I have been blessed to always be close to my mom… I have great parents, although they’re divorced and remarried, we all get along great.. and the “step” parents.. which has always been a hard thing for me to refer to them as.. are great too. Christian will be flying out to Utah to spend some time with my dad before he leaves for South America next week.

I feel sad….. probably a little bit of reflection from my own experience of serving a mission many years ago, but even more. I’m sad because deep inside I feel like all this change was in someway my fault. Losing my job wasn’t my idea or even an option.. it never is. But to be surrounded by so many amazing, supportive people really makes me realize that I haven’t been soaking enough of this experience in. We as a family are going through so much change all at once. Our family dog Dax can barely stand up this morning. Last week we met with the Vet and he told us that it is really close “to the time” for us to decide when to put him down.. that sucks!

Emi (the 15 year old) finally experienced winning a marching competition with her band. Now they go to state as one of the top rated band in Texas… then we take to Utah where she will be attending a high school that doesn’t have a marching band.

Lelani’s business just got a huge shot in arm. A new federal certification was just granted to her company that will bring more clients to her front door here in Texas.

..and me? I’m writing in this damn blog to work through some person demons and keep a record of my thoughts and experiences through this new chapter in our lives. So.. when I hear that there’s snow in the mountains of Utah.. a very small part of me lightens up and smiles.. then I realize what stress and anxiety the rest of these people around me are dealing with.

As many wise people in my past have reminded me through my life.. “change is the only consistent thing we have..” I guess it’s the chaos theory.. personal quantum chaos theory.. That’s what I call it. Much like the grieving process.. You can’t control it or manipulate it. You have to just ride the ride..  My mom used to say, “challenges are placed in front of you to climb over or push through, not go around..”

So today I’m sad.. reflective.. and grateful for what’s about to happen…  I think.

At least there’s snow in them thar hills!!

2010 first snow in Utah