It has a occurred to me that I have been sounding a bit cynical lately.. thanks Mom for pointing this out. I don’t mean to be that way.. it just comes out. Honesty sometimes borders on anger or cynicism… I will continue to be honest and open, trying to leave out the ‘dark side’ of my observations as much as possible… if i can.
So, here’s the experiment. Have you heard about the urban legend that people in colder climates are thought to be generally colder when it comes to interpersonal communication? Meaning, they just don’t like to talk to people.. or may not be very friendly.
let’s do our own experiment.. I tried this yesterday. It’s pretty interesting. This is the how it works…
Go out of your way to be the friendly person… I know, you may have to leave your comfort zone a bit.. but try it. I like to think of it as “messing” with people… (Bill, Tracy, Jon, Saunie, Paul, Mike, Me… you know who you are.. you’ll like the ‘mess’ with them angle)
You be the one to say “hi” to a random person and watch their reaction. People you pass on a neighborhood walk, shopping, anywhere there are people.. you be the friendly one and watch their reaction. I was surprised…
Let’s have everyone do this through the weekend, or just today if you have short term memory loss (any boarders, surfers or radio people in this category).. and log your results. Add it to the comments on this blog.. make it look like this;
Salt lake City – 10 greetings —
3 positive
5 ignored.. (4 looked the other way)
This was my actual experience yesterday. It became a game after the first two.. I saw a couple on their porch having a smoke, they looked at me, so I said.. “hi, how’s it going..” They immediately looked at the ground and their roof as if I wouldn’t notice that they obviously didn’t want my friendliness.. I was shocked.. but kept greeting people on the walk and found friendly people along the way.. not many though.
Think of it as paying it forward in positive greetings. The law of averages would dictate that you should see more positive than negative over time, or at least 50/50..
Ground rules:
– Doesn’t count with co-workers.
– Doesn’t count at any service business (i.e, restaurants, stores, brothels)
– Doesn’t count with anyone you already know.. family, neighbors, dogs, mailmen, hot moms at daycare.
– A wave DOES count. (no response or middle finger both count as negative response)
– Pass it on….
I noticed that it was kind of fun to mess with them, and to see how uncomfortable they get when someone is nice.. why? Why not.. Here’s an opportunity for a little karma banking..
Go for it.. and log it in the comments.
Saunie
Nov 05, 2010 @ 11:48:45
I love the idea and the challenge. I’ll do my best but I might have to wait to start until Monday. I won’t have transportation away from the house untill then. But you’re right…it is fun to just smile and a say hello to people as you pass them on the street. And, I do have to say that I’ve noticed as I’ve been waiting here and there “for my ride” many people, seeing the wheelchair, have stopped long enough to ask me if I needed help or if they can do something to help me. It has opened my eyes and made me determine that once I’m up walking again I will offer others the kindness and empathy I’ve been offered! You rock, Dain!
Marilyn Allen
Nov 06, 2010 @ 13:04:57
Living in a small town makes it extra easy to do this, and I usually get a positive response. One thing I like to do is speak to total strangers in airports, malls, wherever we happen to be. I observe a situation then in a friendly way ask a question or make a comment, and usually get interesting answers. Recently while standing in line to get on a plane I noticed a man with a bird cage and a parrott, so of course I wanted to know more. He was very nice and answered all my questions..the bird was named Vivaldi; he lives on Kauai but works on Oahu; he takes the bird to work with him, stays over for the work week and flys home with Vivaldi for the weekend in Kauai. Most people love to tell you about themselves, so it is fun to listen.
Marilyn Allen
Nov 06, 2010 @ 13:08:48
Sorry, Dain, I won’t do this all the time. Another fun experience was going up to a guy carrying a big bass fiddle in Disneyland. I asked he were going to perform somewhere, and he said he was with a bluegrass band who would be performing near by. We continued to talk as we walked with him to the performance. During the show he asked me to come up and play the scrub board with the band….I have a picture to prove it! Anyway, life is a lot of fun.
daincraig
Nov 06, 2010 @ 15:34:13
Thanks Mom, you are totally cool.. AND friendly.
Ed S.
Nov 07, 2010 @ 08:11:07
Dain …
Tomorrow’s headline. “Tourist” mugged in SLC. Attackers thought he was a molester or weirdo and felt the need to protect themselves.
LeeAnn
Nov 08, 2010 @ 09:42:28
I didn’t see this until your last FB post…but we’ve done something similar in the past. We definitely found folks in small towns to be the friendliest and those on the western side of the Mississippi to be more welcoming of happy greetings from strangers than on the Eastern side. More crowded in the East maybe? Who knows?
daincraig
Nov 08, 2010 @ 10:35:28
Sugar Land, Texas
5 mile run on the levee..
11 greetings….
11 positive (one greeted me first)
Laura
Nov 08, 2010 @ 10:51:15
OK.. Don’t need to do the experiment because I do it everyday on my walk around the lake. Some people I see everyday which, of course, it’s easier to say hi to them. But there is this one lady who I say hi to everyday and she doesn’t look up or respond. I often wonder what is going on in her life to make her seem so withdrawn… This mornings walk was no different… I even said hi to her a little louder. Still no response. Do you think she could be deaf?
Tracy
Nov 09, 2010 @ 23:59:11
Hey sorry, I just barely read this. I may possibly try this tomorrow, you know, if I am in a good mood, which I am usually not. Ha. But seriously, I guess I can try it for one day. Tyler has a band concert at North Cache tomorrow night so that might be a good place to do my experiment.
Oh hell, just thinking about doing that at a North Cache band concert is making me itch. Shit.
I am going to go for it though, and will post results.
Markley
Nov 10, 2010 @ 21:25:07
I did not do the challenge officially, but I always try to make eye contact and give a gesture. What I have found down here in Texas is that for the most part everyone will do the same. Very polite! (Except one specific race seems to avoid interaction. Not sure if it is my ugly mug or something else…)
jon craig
Nov 14, 2010 @ 08:24:08
While in Mexico- i tried your little experiment. Other tourists, locals, cab drivers etc. This is what i found. Other tourists not only say ‘hello’ back but want to brag about all the places they’ve been as though there is a competition on ‘world travel’. One couple asked if we wanted to join them at their hotel- an all adult nude beach. While up town- if you engage in conversation with locals, they generally want to buy you lunch at a local hotel (time share presentation) and if you decline…all of a sudden they want to sell you weed and blow. At the local flea markets, everyone is friendly as long as you look at their shit for sale. “cheaper than Kmart”….yep- sure is. Usually cheaper quality, not price. After you leave their little 5’x5′ shop, they too now want to sell you weed and blow. Taxi drivers….they are my favorite. You never know what you’re going to get. Some just love to talk to you. Fun for us to practice our spanish. But- when they drop you off the dynamic always changes….so does the price. One guy chewed us out because we only wanted a ride to the bus station. He said he could get us to the airport for a better deal than taking the local bus. ($40 was his offer. Local bus- $4 per) He was pretty upset that we declined that he pulled over on the back side of the bus station on a busy street, literally threw our luggage onto the sidewalk and charged us double what we were told before we got in. The best part was when he hopped into his taxi and ‘peeled out’. Hahaha….what a douche. So the lesson I’ve learned is- don’t talk to people in Mexico unless you think you want weed, blow, overpriced/pissed taxi driver, time share or an orgy with strange people at an all adult nude hotel.
daincraig
Nov 14, 2010 @ 19:44:23
Mah brutha… never been asked to join an orgy. Hey, what happens in Mexico.. you know.. funny.